*Names and images have been changed to protect the children's identities.
"It’s a very special and rewarding parenting journey to adopt siblings and give them the chance to have a close bond in childhood which sets them up for the future."
After several years trying for a family including a couple of rounds of IVF (which I found gruelling) my husband and I chose to look into adoption and soon had a feeling that “actually, this is what we were meant to do all along”…it felt right.
The original plan was to adopt two children because we always envisaged having more than one child. We wanted to do it once and then be able to move onto family life without further uncertainty and disruption.
We met a couple who were very similar to us who spoke at our preparation training - they had planned to adopt two children but subsequently had three siblings join them. My husband joked as we left that it would happen to us… and it did!
Over 7 years ago now, we became adoptive parents to three sisters aged 3 and under. We were extremely thankful to go through the adoption process just once and have a complete family. When we had the celebration day, it felt like we could leave all the processes and visits behind us and get on with being a family. We much preferred it this way.
The happy foster environment they came from, their young age and the special bond they have as siblings means they settled really well. At preparation training you come to understand all the strands of life which can be severed through adoption, but because the girls arrived with each other, they were a constant in each others lives through the transition and beyond. As a result, the new home felt much more familiar than it would otherwise have been.
Our three daughters feel like a “set”, their personalities are so widely different but they complement each other. They know each other’s strengths - who can reach high things, who is brave to ask questions in a new group, who will bring calm to a tense situation at school, who is good at ponytails, who will battle best in the face of an unfairness, who can read instructions well - they use this teamwork every single day. We cannot imagine how each of their lives would have been different if they had been placed separately. It feels like they were absolutely meant to be together.
As they get a little older and talk through more questions about their family of origin, they take comfort in their physical similarities such as eye colour or new acquaintances remarking about how alike they look. On the programme Long Lost Families I am always struck by adopted adults who’ve never seen someone who looks like them. It seems to raise a lot of questions about identity and belonging and when they meet someone from their birth family who they resemble it means the world to them. Our girls are lucky enough to have this everyday - they’re sisters, they can see they are sisters, so can everyone else and the physical similarity is a source of reassurance for them.
Adopting siblings is challenging too - in our case three times the washing, three times the interests / activities (and cost), three times the homework, three times the “mummy, mummy, mummy!”, three times everything. When they were younger it was impossible to respond to all their various needs at once.
We have a very limited support network - which we should have thought about much more consciously - but we have adapted by;
It’s a very special and rewarding parenting journey to adopt siblings and give them the chance to have a close bond in childhood which sets them up for the future. If you have a good support network and can manage a bit of chaos in life, we don’t hesitate to recommend it.
If you're thinking about adoption, then you can find out more at one of our information events.
Book a place at an information event
If you're thinking about adoption, then you can find out more at one of our information events.
Book a place at an information event
If you'd prefer to speak to someone, then give us a call on 0300 123 6727 and we’ll be in touch with you as soon as possible.
